Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Erectile Dysfunction and Oral Sex

Someone recently posed a question about Erectile Dysfunction.  For privacy reasons, I will call her Stacy.  Stacy's husband has ED and she asked me if I thought that it was her fault and if they would ever have sex again.

Erectile dysfunction refers to erection function only. Men with erectile dysfunction have normal sensation and sex drive and are able to achieve orgasm. If your man has Erectile Dysfunction (or ED) he can still have the urge to have sex and he can still have an orgasm.  ED is not and end all to a relationship.  It's just a bump in the road that you both have to smooth out together. 

Erectile Dysfunction does not mean that your man does not desire you or that he is cheating on you.  It can be a psychological problem or a physical problem.  One way to tell why the problem exists is watching for "morning wood" or erections while he is sleeping.  Most men will have several erections during the night and first thing in the morning.  Take a peek while he's sleeping to see if he is having erections.  If your man usually has "morning wood" and you notice that he doesn't anymore then it's a physical problem and he should see a doctor.  Most cases of ED are due to diabetes, high cholesterol and certain medications. 

If your man does have "morning wood" then his problem is most likely psychological.  It could be due to stress from work, bills, or many other stress related reasons.  Communication is very important when it comes to this touchy subject.  Let's face it, it's an embarrassing topic for men.  Nobody wants to admit that they have ED.  When discussing this with your man, please keep the topic outside of the bedroom.  If you discuss it while in bed, he may feel pressured into performing and that will make his problem worse.

Like I stated earlier, men with ED can still have an orgasm and enjoy sex.  Oral sex is a wonderful way for a couple to pleasure each other without the man feeling the pressure of performing.  Most men become aroused when they please their partner orally.  Whether you please him first or vice versa, oral sex is still a wonderful way to feel close to each other and still get sexual gratification for both of you.  Why not add some sex toys to your love making session.  When your man knows that he can still please you without having an erection, he will be more willing to keep trying. 
After trying oral sex for 2 weeks, Stacy and her husband were on their way to rekindling their relationship.  Since his ED was due to stress, it wasn't long before he was hard and happy again. 

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